I have to be very careful about my critique du paradis. That'd be biting the hand that feeds me. We took the 20-minute flight from Honolulu to Maui, and checked into the Ritz-Carlton for 4 days of finding out what it's like to share a big-ass pool with dozens of other schmooze-fans.Short answer? Pretty darned good.
Sticking a bunch of volcanic islands in the middle of the Pacific necessarily means you get a lot of cloud and a permanent brisk, warm wind whipping around your speedo. Nevertheless, it is gorgeous here, and only the hedonistic pursuit of luxuries elsewhere and a doctorate in pickiness gives me a somewhat jaded view of resorts like this.
Eaves-dropping on a group next to us in one of the many restaurants at this hotel gave me the perfect get-out - how to criticize the place without inviting too much criticism myself. What do London or New York give you that you can't get here in Hawaii, or in San Francisco? Style.
That might sound a little disingenuous, coming from someone who loves life in SF, but I'm just, er, "being real, dog."
No amount of fancy furniture or million dollar view can make up for an alleged 5-star resort that insists on offering fries with every dish, or not listing the year with any of the wines on the menu, or having 2 flat screen TVs in the suite, but no slippers, or having TVs blasting ESPN into the lobby and main bar all bleeding day, or thinking that having every member of staff intone "Aloha" every time they see you gives them a big check mark alongside "service". Sorry, I'm foaming at the mouth now. Back to the view from our room. Aaaaaaaah.
Will we go back? Almost certainly.
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