RAVE - Mr Turner

Covers the last 25 years or so of the life of J.M.W. Turner, the English painter of land- and sea-scapes. Now, before you switch off, it's admittedly a slow-ish piece, but one that's full of rich characters, and richer language.

Timothy Spall plays the grunting, harrumphing Turner who - when not grunting or harrumphing - busies himself with his brethren at The Academy, wobbles off to paint a scene, or grabs his housekeeper for a quickie.

Turner's interactions with John Constable, John Ruskin, Benjamin Haydon, and the rest of the rabble at The Academy are wonderful, and turn this into a rewarding couple of hours.

"Capital", as Turner might have said.

RAVE - The Imitation Game

It was heartening to find the movie theater completely full today, replete no doubt with hundreds of other party-poopers who would happily do anything rather than sit around listening to their families squabble over their Christmas dinners.

And what better way to mark the fake birthday of Jesus (his being born on December 25 is about as likely as Father Christmas barreling down one's chimney after all) than seeing a war film about the cracking of the Nazi Enigma machine by a group of upper class braniacs.

While it was entertaining, full of droll, British humor, and arguably THE key development of the second World War (historians have calculated that the breaking of the code machine shortened that war by two years and saved 14 million lives), it dragged on a bit. There was no real explanation of how the code-breaking machine actually broke codes, or why there needed to be a dozens of rotating dials on the front. Instead, the film focused on what an utter dick Alan Turing was to everyone who had the misfortune to meet him. His being gay certainly led to his prosecution, sentencing, and eventual suicide, but surely it had nothing to do with his mathematical acumen.

And whatever possessed the producers to cast airhead Keir Knightley as one of those braniacs?

REVIEW - Wild

Wild in name only, this film will appeal mostly to the ladies.

Reese Witherspoon undertakes an 1,100 mile walk following the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) that starts near the US Mexico border and follows the Sierra and Cascade Mountains. She does this to try and come to terms with her Mother's death, and we are treated to incessant flash-backs to her family life.

Quite why she embarked on the hike so woefully ill-prepared is another matter. She had the wrong-sized walking boots, the wrong fuel for her camp stove, a tent she had clearly never seen outside of its packaging, and tons of equipment she didn't need and wouldn't use.

One noteworthy item for my friend Bill, who works at REI in Houston, was the excellent service Witherspoon's character got when she called REI from a stop on the trail and they sent the correct pair of boots for her to pick up at her next stop.

Whether that single incident makes it worthwhile for anyone, including REI employees, to sit through this film is anybody's guess.

REVIEW - Exodus: Gods and Kings

Perhaps it's a mite disingenuous to describe this as "not as bad as Noah", because that particular 138 minutes was almost entirely reprehensible. This story of Moses' exploits with the Hebrew slaves in Egypt, which led to the parting of the Red Sea was 10 minutes longer and several tonnes of camel crap lighter.

But as with Noah, I found Ridley Scott's (intentionally?) clumsy treatment of the alleged source material to be annoying. I don't remember the Bible talking of Moses fighting in battle with Pharoah-to-be Ramses. I thought it spoke of him being a kind of quartermaster, overseeing the Egyptian grain supplies. But maybe that's my memory.

What WAS shoddy was the way the climactic scene on the bed of the - temporarily dry - Red Sea, just happened to see Moses and Ramses in a convenient face-off as the giant tidal wave of the returning waters apparently bore down just feet away, with - in  the next scene - them both looking dry and perky on their respective banks of that Sea.

As always, for the woman's / non-believer's / non-hypercritical view, we need to consider Mrs P's opinion which was "Good movie. I really enjoyed it".

As they say, it takes all sorts.

RAVE - Chinos

OK. So it may not be the best time to give one's opinion of a restaurant after first having had a skinful of alcoholic refreshment. But, at least I can remember that Chinos is:

a) right across the street from the 'skinful' supply joint Elixir (which is very handy indeed)
b) in the space formerly occupied by Andalu
c) owned by the Tacolicious group (which is a bit like saying "our guitarist was formerly with Led Zeppelin")
d) serves killer Manhattans to go with its killer dumplings

Which brings me to the food. I'll dispense with listing the dishes we ordered, because Gareth and I had a LOT of food - or at least we ordered a lot. That means I won't be describing the many dumplings, pot stickers, and wontons we ordered, each replete with some kind of Chicken / Pork Belly / Riblet accompaniment, and great sauces.

They were all freakishly good, while still probably falling a bit short of one of the City's better established Chinese food specialists.

It all goes to show that if you combine good friends, good food, and the right amount of liquor, you can rarely go wrong.

RAVE - Foxcatcher

What makes this film Weird with a capital W is not the story - it's a true story and one that's told very modestly, stripped of any razzle-dazzle. No, what's truly weird are the actors.

Steve Carell - Anchorman, Date Night, The Office, etc. - is completely unrecognizable in looks, style, and delivery. Channing Tatum - Magic Mike, 21 & 22 Jump Street, White House Down, etc. - is relatively recognizable facially, but playing with the knuckle-dragging gait of a wrestler is nothing like his usual pretty boy self. And Mark Ruffalo - The Normal Heart, Zodiac, and other somewhat under the radar stuff - is equally cast out of type, as Tatum's brother, also an Olympic Gold Medal wrestler.

Carell plays mega-rich John Du Pont, who seems to have little to do but fret in the shadow of his mother. He decides to support the US Olympic wrestling team, initially by hosting Tatum and Ruffalo - the Shultz brothers - and their fellow wrestlers at Foxcatcher, his country estate and state-of-the-art  training facility. The team is preparing for the 1988 Seoul Olympics.

Du Pont's strange character is played brilliantly by Carell, and his innate weirdness culminates in
tragedy for the group.

RAVE - Absinthe

Never let it be said that I bear a grudge, but I last went to Absinthe around 14 years ago. On that
occasion I was accompanied by two colleagues and friends from the UK. Their generosity at picking up the $600 bill for the three of us was ruined by the waiter who sarcastically commented on their 12% tip saying "It's a shame you didn't enjoy your meal". Now, say what you want about $70 tip being too little, too much, or just about right - the wait-jerk deserved avoiding.

Absinthe happens to be a place we drive past a few times each week, so I've had plenty of time during those 14 ensuing years to dwell on that experience. It was therefore with some degree of anticipation that we ventured in there for brunch on Saturday.

Suffice it to say that the experience was top notch, with impeccable food, excellent service and a pleasant ambiance to the place.

At last - perhaps several years after the fact - we've discovered somewhere that rivals Foreign Cinema for a weekend brunch.

RANT - The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1

The clumsiest title of the year is dampened still further by the absence of anything that could be described as action, or excitement, or drama.

I'd been determined to avoid this film ever since the trailers started a few months ago, but when your wife suggests every couple of days that you should take her, and after ignoring those suggestions a few times she says she'll find someone else to go with her, you've just got to knuckle down and go.

But even she said as we trudged out of the theater, "that was a bit dull, wasn't it?" I bit my tongue and waited until we were in the car before I uttered the predictable - but very accurate - "I told you so".

In fact, I told her so after the first, and the second installments of this by the numbers series of movies.

While Stanley Tucci's Hunger Games TV host is a reprehensibly over the top character, several members of the cast have that vacant, "Go on, slap me!" look, with Josh Hutcherson / Peeta Mellark at the front of that line.

For me, 90 minutes would be infinitely better spent watching that slap-fest rather than another freaking Hunger Games movie.

REVIEW - Rosewater

Quite why an Iranian-Canadian journalist living in the UK warranted a Mexican actor to play him in film is beyond me.

I can perhaps understand why talk show host and general mirth-maker John Stewart chose to make this his screenwriting and directing debut. The journalist Maziar Bahari was arrested and interrogated in an Iranian prison for four months with part of the evidence used against an interview he did on John Stewart's TV show wherein jokes were made about him being a CIA spy.

The famous Iranian lack of a funny bone meant they took those "jokes" seriously, but either the treatment Bahari received was nowhere near as "brutal" as the media would have us believe, or John Stewart decided to play this one straight and with little dramatic action but this was all too pedestrian for me.

I hope I'm not making light of Bahari's suffering, but blame John Stewart.

RAVE - Marlowe

We ate a its former location a couple of times, and it's lack of drama made me determined not to go again.

But they've moved into new premises, and my wife made the reservation so I was persuaded to try out Marlow v2.

And I guess I was happy I did, because the old Coco500 space has given the Marlowe team a brighter, airier space while still keeping it relatively intimate.

The Duck Liver Cromesquis - basically a bowl of duck liver pate, grape, and mustard seed was delicious. As was my wife's Steak Tartare, poached egg, and crostini, My Marlowe Burger, with caramelized onions, cheddar, bacon, horseradish aioli, and fries was good, if not up to Serpentine or Slow Club standards. Her Smoked Black Cod was -  according to her ladyship - "killer", although thanks to my aversion to fish I'll have to take her word for it.

RANT - Presidio Social Club

This place is a time machine - and not in a good way.

Built in 1903, frequented by a clientele that's got a 50s feel about it, and with a menu straight out of the 70s, The Presidio Social Club reveals all that's bad with American habits. Just like gun laws, the Bible Belt, and Country & Western music, there's such a huge number of prospective buyers and marketing dollars to spend in their direction that literally anything will sell, and often in large volumes.

Added to that you have the herd instinct. It may be the same in your town, but here in San Francisco there are lines of wannabe diners outside the dullest establishments, simply because they've been pronounced THE places to eat. That can be the only reason places like Presidio Social Club, Town Hall, Bi-Rite Creamery et al are so popular. Maybe the food was once the best that could be had, but most - if not all - of these places have long been eclipsed by better alterantives.

Having said that, my Gruyere cheese toast with tomato fondue dip was a tasty, if un-adventurous appetizer. On the other hand, my Prime rib was fatty and devoid of anything approaching flavor. My date was once again the brightest thing in the busy room, but her food was similarly lackluster.

Needless to say, we will not be making the trek to this outpost again for a long while.

RAVE - The Theory of Everything

A film about the relationship between Professor Stephen Hawking and his wives and family, rather than an examination of his theories on time, and the origin of the universe. Half way through, I was regretting that we were unlikely to hear much about his thinking process, but by the time the film was done I appreciated it for what it was - a love story.

The story began at Cambridge, where new student Hawking meets the woman who would eventually become his long-suffering wife. Very soon after, he starts to develop signs of a motor neuron disease - better known here in the US as Lou Gehrig's Disease), a condition that would within months consign him to a wheelchair and to a life communicating via a computer.

The love and kindness shown to Hawking by his wife, his family and friends is uplifting while never being condescending. This proved to a powerful, moving film, with exceptional performances from Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones.

And while we're on the subject of the wives of incredibly intelligent men, my own loving, long-suffering better half announced on our way out of the theater that, unlike Mrs Hawking, who got a somewhat fit female helper for Stephen, if I ever found myself requiring 24 hour help she would find me a fat, Thai boy. That's how much she trusts me!

RAVE - Interstellar

I love long movies. They allow a story to really be told, and characters to properly be developed. But during the nearly 3 hours of Interstellar, I had plenty of time to think of other things, like the last time we saw comic Eddie Izzard.

He explained some of the many things that are wrong with the way people use language: Imagine the first manned space mission to Mars. After the rocket blasts off from Earth, and powers out of Earth's gravitational pull, the crew performs its systems checks and secures themselves in the cryogenic sleeping pods that will keep them in suspended animation during the seven year flight. When those years have passed, and the craft nears Mars, computers wake the crew. They emerge from their pods, stretching as they gradually wake up. They make their way to the front of of the ship and there, laid out before them, is the red planet. Now THAT is awesome.

A damned hamburger is NOT awesome!

Interstellar was awesome, in it's breadth and scope. But several times I could hear chuckles from the viewers around me as another leap in logic, reason and space was made by the director and crew. It's apparent that director Chris Nolan wanted to pay tribute to Stanley Kubrick and his 2001. So just like 2001, Interstellar was in part tedious, part illogical - or at least tough to explain, and in part "awesome".

Matthew McConaughey powers through wormholes and ripples in the time-space continuum as he leads a mission to uncover a new planet for earth's inhabitants to occupy. The kind of thing the U.S.S Enterprise has been doing for thirty years, without anyone aging faster than anyone, or any thing else.