RAVE - Lone Survivor

I ignored my favorite political talk show host Bill Maher's comment "Why give away the outcome of a movie in the title?" and saw the excellent Lone Survivor.

This was thoroughly engrossing, taut, and - I've read somewhere - a very accurate portrayal of life on the front line in Afghanistan.

Mark Wahlberg is one of four Navy Seals airlifted into the mountains to hunt down a Taliban leader. I don't want to give away too much of the plot - aside from there being just one survivor of the mission, but their task takes an early swerve toward disaster when they encounter a group of goat herders and decide to let them leave rather than kill them.

This was another of the current crop of movies based on a true story. I don't know whether that made what could have been a me-too war caper into a gripping fight for survival, but maybe it did, and it was.

RANT - John's Grill

This place, along with The Tadich Grill, and House of Prime Rib, represents the type of restaurant mostly frequented by out of towners, and (rightly) avoided by locals.

It's a tired place, made 'famous' by Dashiell Hammett's The Maltese Falcon. According to the restaurant's blurb, it's a favorite place of "local and national celebrities", although the pictures of those "celebrities" on the walls all look like they're of people who were at best small timers and only back in the day (and that 'day' looks like it was sometime in the fifties).

The menu too is tired, consisting of the dull steak and seafood staples that're done so much better by the more happening steak places in town or the many seafood specialty places around.

My Caesar Salad and Rib Eye Steak (I said the menu was tired) were underwhelming and made only palatable by my hosts, a large party of business associates from out of town and out of the country.

RANT - 3 Days To Kill

Kevin Costner is a somewhat weary CIA operative. Weary because he's getting a bit old for all this shootin' and fightin' stuff, and he's dying of a rare type of cancer.

His estranged wife and daughter are living in Paris, where he finds himself having to resolve one last case, while trying to re-establish a father/daughter relationship.

His CIA handler, played pointlessly and almost invisibly by Amber Heard, feeds him leads on his case, the names of people she needs offed, and an untested drug that might help with his disease. Oh, and the drug's side effects also lead to all-too-frequent passing out spells for our weary shooter.

And Costner's nasty apartment has been occupied by a family of squatters from Mali.

Confused? Watching the movie won't tidy things up for you much.

What with Costner's wheezing and coughing through his every step, the incessant calls to his cell phone from his daughter or his handler, and the totally unnecessary wrinkle of having to deal with the squatters whenever he goes to his apartment this is a movie that needs a good sorting out.

It wasn't helped by the obligatory car chase through Paris that did nothing to add to the excitement or logic of the film.

Lame.

REVIEW - The Monuments Men

This started with my wife and me on opposite sides of the fence - she was fully lathered up and ready for what she expected to be a blockbuster movie. Me? I was already annoyed at the way the film had been advertised: "The Untold Story of blah, blah ..." when I remember reading the book The Monuments Men: Allied Heroes, Nazi Thieves and the Greatest Treasure Hunt in History by Robert Edsel.

And while we're on the subject of lying advertisers, the trailer for the upcoming Russell Crowe flick Noah, laughably says this too is an "Untold Story". Give me a break.

Anyhow, Edsel's book was good. This film was not.

The only reason I've not given it a RANT was because of our opposing expectations, and the effect they had on our enjoyment of the movie. Mrs. P loved it. I thought it was poorly told, unevenly directed, and devoid of any excitement or intrigue. The fact that it lacked any humor was not necessarily a disappointment - after all, the theft or destruction of millions of irreplaceable pieces of art by the Nazis during the Second World War doesn't really warrant too many gags - however, the presence of Oceans Eleven, or at least Oceans Two (George Clooney and Matt Damon), led one to at least expect some lightheartedness.

There wasn't any, and even if there had been it wouldn't have saved this film.

RAVE - Skrillex at The Independent

With bass enough to not only restart the heart of the most lifeless cardiac patient, but capable of taking a vat of skimmed milk and churning it into the thickest butter, DJ wunderkind Sonny Moore, aka Skrillex practically blew out The Independent last night.

While support came from DJs Louisahhh!!! and Craze, their sets - while sounding good and solid at the time - paled into insignificance once Skrillex took over the tables for what, it must be said, made for a bit of a marathon evening of revived hearts and freshly-churned Cheddar.

Even though The Independent's usual sound and light equipment is worthy of most indie rock mortals, Skrillex' crew wheeled in a truck full of extra speakers, all with volume dials super-glued at 11. And the light show - reminiscent of an acid trip through Vegas - had my fellow traveler fretting about passing out in a blubbering heap.

Heaven knows what he was doing at a Skrillex show, but one diversion was comedian Dave Chappelle crowd-surfing his way to the bar at the back of the room.

Thankfully, aside from faint traces of cheese in my beard - something the years, and a healthy dairy diet have got me used to - I awoke as I often do, feeling like an 18-year old.

As often is the case, a suitably irreverent closing line is available from my good friend Mr. Espley.

REVIEW - Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

Based on characters created by writer Tom Clancy, but derivative of a dozen other undercover operative movies, this one stars Kevin Costner and Chris Pine as CIA agents trying to circumvent a dastardly Russian plot to bring down the US currency and the country with it.

There's the requisite amount of action, little intrigue, only one explosion, a frenetic but not very entertaining car chase through Moscow, not much female attraction (sorry Keira Knightley, you've lost your hot-ness, and with all your money you should really get your teeth fixed), and that's about it.

It's a very old-fashioned type of "thriller", in its plot and delivery, played by one actor who's getting too old for this kind of stuff, and another who hasn't yet earned his stripes.