Now I know what it's like to spend $140m on dinner at a Swiss ski chalet ... 2 hours of wall-to-wall CHEESE.
A big cast of mostly unknowns, with the notable exception of Hugo Weaving as the evil Skull, Tommy Lee Jones as the harrumphing general, and a walk-on role (justly un-credited) at the end for Samuel L Jackson; a pointless appearance with an equally pointless eye-patch.
To its credit, the film spent the first 45 minutes on character-building, and to its dis-credit, the next one and a quarter hours doing nothing with those characters except firing bullets and pulse-weapons at them.
At least Captain America wasn't bitten by a radioactive hamster. Instead, Stanley Tucci playing the ex-Nazi-now-turned-and-working-for-zee-Americans injected a weedy Chris Evans with an industrial quantity of turbo-steroids. The resultant Captain America ended up with a pumped body and Olympic-caliber running and jumping skills.
All in all, the film came across as a blend of early James Bond and Inglorious Basterds, with neither of those example's wit or tension.
Oh, and the 3D didn't save it either.
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