Saturday, January 30, 2010

RANT - Spartacus: Blood and Sand

I had to give this a couple of episodes to get into its stride and convince me that the terrible first installment was a temporary blip.

No such luck.

It's stating the obvious that Spartacus is a lame, attempted mashup of Gladiator, Rome and 300.

I say "lame" because it boasts none of the excitement of Gladiator, none of the intrigue and complexity of Rome, but an overdose of 300-like effects that are no longer the slightest bit original.

Every single lunge, thrust, swipe and strike is rendered in slow motion, and boy does it get boring. Every blow generates a fountain of projectile blood, often from places nowhere near the wound. The dialog is neanderthal; the acting from everyone but John Hannah (gladiator school owner Batiatis) is wooden.

At the beginning of each episode, this laughable warning is read:
"Spartacus depicts extreme sensuality, brutality and language that some viewers may find objectionable. The show is a historical portrayal of ancient Roman society and the intensity of the content is to suggest an authentic representation of the period".

Instead, the warning should state: "It's altogether too knuckle-headed for serious consideration." 

Pavey wants me to hold off giving this the thumbs down, reckoning that it could get better. I'm going ahead and posting this now, and will happily post a retraction if things look up.

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