As usual, we rented a place that was way too big (4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms) for the 2 of us, just in order to be somewhere with a pool and space, but no interference, for a proper holiday.
This time we were on Discovery Bay, between Montego Bay and Ocho Rios, Jamaica.
"Discovery Bay" because it was the very spot where Christopher Columbus anchored in 1494. Of course, he'd only "discovered" a place where locals had been chilling out for a couple hundred years before wind and tide sent him there, but such is the history of most places west of The Azores.
My summary? Jamaica is basically a pretty unkempt place - and we only saw the allegedly prettier, north side of the island. A mixture of gorgeous coast, plus nondescript vacation resorts, and scruffy townships. This is no Cote D'Azur.
And one fiendishly annoying element: wherever you go in Jamaica you always seems to hear TWO music sources - the one nearby, spilling out reggae or Christmas-themed tunes, and the one in the background, delivering a completely different bass-line to some other song. In our villa, it was the kitchen radio keeping the cook happy with his local pop, reggae, and cricket competing with some jerk next door who thought we all needed to enjoy Cher all over a-bloody-gain. Outside, it was said jerk in the foreground, but a rumbling bass from the public beach a half mile away. Even at the "luxurious" Secrets resort, it was Andy Williams singing (heaven knows why) White Christmas from the speaker above your dining table, vying for your attention with Frank Sinatra lounging his way through some tired old rehash from speakers 50 yards away.
It sounds like I'm giving it all the thumbs down, but the good very definitely outweighed the bad. Our villa staff - chef, housekeeper, and maid - were fabulous, and meant we never lifted a finger for the 10 days. 3-course meals at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, is too much for anytime except Christmas, and even then only when someone else is doing the cooking.
The lying-around-and-reading opportunities were immense, which meant I finished 2.5 books on my Kindle, and snoozed plenty. Meanwhile, her ladyship swam and snorkeled in the sea that lapped the rocks at the end of our garden, or floated around in the pool.
All good stuff that completely ignored the Christmas spirit being served up, chucked back, and thrown around everywhere else. Marvelous!
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