RANT - The Cavalier

It might be a little unfair to Rant at The Cavalier, and it might also be a little uneven of me to flip from Raving about it the last couple of times we've eaten there, but my judgement is based on sound bias.

Coming from England, I had hoped that The Cavalier's intent of being a "British Gastropub" would mean their execution would be somewhere higher than pubs - gastro or otherwise - reach in England.

But it ain't.

The fact that - as their web site proclaims - it was set up by the "owners and creators of the critically acclaimed restaurants Marlowe and Park Tavern" - both of which I have come to dislike (and not for their food, necessarily), nailed their aspirations, and their fate firmly to the mast.

The Cavalier's attempts to out-Brit the British failed on every front:

• Farrow and Roasted Beets, with Basil, Pea Tendrils, and Pumpkin seeds was basically a small seed salad.
• Lamb Strumpets, with Pickled Mint and Chile tasted of nothing, aside from the hard-to-achieve dull-tasting mint.
• Fish and Chips, with two small pieces of "seasonally caught" fish, "thrice-cooked" chips - I'd have been happier with once-cooked, and tasting perky, rather than three-times cooked and being decidedly un-perky - and minted peas that one had to dig for amid the always uneventful mountain of watercress.
• Ale-brined Berkshire Pork Tenderloin, calvados and apple jus. Mrs Page tellingly thought her sides of Roasted Brussels Sprouts and Cabbages stood out on this dish, an opinion I'd rarely share where sprouts and cabbage were concerned.

Come on Ramsey, Heston Blumenthal, and Jamie Oliver - where are you when we need you?